I have a little project for you. Let me tell you what gave me the idea.

Recently, when I was on the road doing a Confirmation retreat, I walked into the bathroom during a break from our activities. Now this was a large public washroom with a huge mirror above the sinks. When I walked in, there was a young man, probably sixteen or so, who was standing in front of this mirror looking deeply at his own face. I had apparently caught him off guard in a moment of reflection about himself for he was startled as I opened the door.

He was quickly embarrassed for having been seen looking at himself, and mumbled something along the lines of, “Sorry, I was . . . (mumble mumble) . . . ”

I said to him, “What’s there to be sorry about? You’re sixteen and it’s okay to look at yourself in a mirror. Relax.” He kind of giggled and walked out of the bathroom.

In our day and age of kids growing up too fast, where the lines between normal and abnormal behavior are rather blurred, do we let our kids know what is and is not normal? At the end of doing a workshop once on youth development and violence, one volunteer came up to me and said, "After listening to all of this, about violence and counter cultural behavior, I have a question. Don’t kids just play baseball anymore?”

Yes, yes they do. There are, despite mass media attempts to make us believe the contrary, teens who are doing normal, adolescent things. But like my young friend on the retreat, do they have any idea what is normal?

I have an invitation for you. Complete the following sentence, as you would say it to a young person you know. "You’re sixteen, it is okay to . . . "

Fill in the blanks. Some of my favorites are: you’re sixteen it is okay to be unsure about what to study in college . . . you’re sixteen, it’s okay to have questions about God . . . you’re sixteen, it’s okay to not want to drink . . . your sixteen, it is okay that you really love to play baseball . . .

You get the idea. Maybe you could do this type of project with the youth ministry volunteers in your parish, or with your core group.