Girls, it applies to you, but the real life cast in this piece are guys. And, this really happened.

When I was leading a retreats early this year, we did an evening Reconciliation service with a group of Juniors. The group was mixed boys and girls, but mostly boys. In it we talked about all the garbage that so many us carry around in our souls and in our minds. This process is pretty strong and makes a lot of people think *real* deep about what they do and believe. For both girls and guys, part of this healing is emotional, too.

Anyway, after this powerful prayer service, there is a time for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. On this retreat, they only had one priest and a lot of teens. And a lot of boys..with a lot of stuff. If you are a guy reading this, You know the kind of hard line stuff I mean. It took forever. My joints were killing me. I went outside to take a walk in the forest area, loosen up my hip bones and pray some time until the process was done.

As I was walking, up ahead of me were three boys talking. Actually, one was sobbing and the other two were talking with him. And...these three guys were like the jock/letterman kind of guys. So, I know they went out to "hide" their emotions. Too bad. I just kind of stopped, looked up at the stars and listened.

I want to let you in on two secrets. In the forest, no matter how quietly you think you are talking, you can be heard a long way away.

Second secret: as a parent, I have received the super undercover fatherhood training that allows us to hear *anything* we want to hear. Combining those two secrets, I could hear every word these boys were saying. I edited the "bad" language- use your imagination- you know how guys really talk. I am not making this up- *this is* what they said. I actually wrote this down three weeks ago. (the stuff in ( ) are my comments)

**************
(they got quiet for a moment, knew I was there and kept talking anyway)

Boy1: (emotional kid) I don’t know what I am supposed to do, I just can’t control this stuff any more.

Boy2: Then you have to talk to someone about it.

Boy1: No one wants to listen anymore, nobody’s got time.

Boy3: I want to listen, but nobody gives a --- about anyone anyway. I am tired of not having anyone I can trust.

Boy1: I don’t trust anyone. I keep getting screwed.

Boy2: Yeah, like someone you can pour your heart out to. (yeah, he really said that)

Boy1: That guy (me) made me think, and at first I was mad, but then I thought he’s right. I’ve got too much crap in my mind and I just gotta talk about it. I think I am like crazy sometimes. My parents think I am flippin crazy.

Boy3: I will listen to you or whatever. But someone’s gotta do that for me.

Boy2: Yeah. I will. But you can’t mess around with trusting people.

Boy1: (still upset) Yeah, like when I trusted (some other kid’s name). As soon as he got a girlfriend last year, he just flippin’ vanished and never talks to me, he doesn’t even look at me at school, it is like (the girlfriend) is all he has all of a sudden. It makes me flippin’ angry.

(long silence...and yeah, I was spying on them with my ears...it’s my job...sue me..ha!)

Boy2: So what are we going to do? Like call each other or what?

Boy1: I gotta know I can do that stuff you said about draining my heart or whatever the hell that stupid thing you said was. (yeah, he said the too- for real)

Boy2: It’s not stupid, it’s true, idiot.

Boy3: I will.

Boy2: Okay, so we make a bargain that we can talk to each other and say anything right? Nobody laughs at the stuff we say, right?

Boy1: Yeah.
Boy2: Yeah.

Boy3: Okay, we start this week.

*****
Yes I know it sounds like some goofy church skit, but it was the real life of these three kids for the moment. Sometimes life is just a little odd sounding when we speak the truth to each other.

"So, what’s this got to do with me?" you want to know. "Get to the point!"

The point is this- these guys are at the end of their Junior year in high school and are STILL searching for someone they can trust, talk to and just be "normal", real with.

Are you following me? For those of you who were there, do you remember on the Mad Dog retreat we talked about having a younger friend, a peer friend and an older mentor friend? Guess what....these guys were starving for peers they could really talk to...for real. So
it is not just Sean’s "magical retreat" theory- it was their life and they were talking about it "in secret" in order to get some help.

The point part two- you guys have an option with each other. That’s why we do Cell Groups..so you have somewhere in your life that you can talk the truth. No, they are not big giant crying sessions, but, if you have the courage, they can save your life. And, yeah, it is hard to get to the point where the churchy stuff goes away and the real man to man, God in our *real* life, starts to happen.

In our parish, we see a large number of boys who consider suicide as an option. This is just wrong. Why can’t we talk to each other, help you through your stuff, get you connected to your Dad or your Mom?

Guys- we are here for you. We can’t help you if you don’t ask for help. It doesn’t mean you are weak, it means you are a real man.

If any of you read this, guy or girl, and want to get a hold of someone at the church- do it. Don’t be afraid, even if you don’t know what to say.

There will be two Mad Dog boys retreats this year. Get on one. Yeah, it’s that important.

Peace-
Sean